Well son, you pooped on me and it was a doozy.
Your mama was glad it happened because I didn’t want it to so much. It happened Sunday night at the ER while mama was being treated for her “back pain”. We don’t blame you but your mama’s body has been beaten and bruised by you these last few months. When you are older she will probably use that against you so just letting you know now. Even though it was while you were in utero that she craved all those French fries and chips that probably led to those gallstones that led us there. And it was definitely your presence in her body and the removal process that lead to the clotting blood that ended up in her lungs.
That’s just what the doctors say and they know more than us. But it isn’t actually your fault because you didn’t mean it. You are still innocent and perfect.
Sunday night, I had to feed you formula because you were really hungry and mama just couldn’t hold you with the needles and cords in her arms. Plus we didn’t know what they were about to do to her poor body. Again not your fault. I probably mixed too much for your little belly to hold, so you pooped. A lot. We were glad that we heard you poop because you changed from mama’s milk to formula on Friday night for one short time and then back to mama’s milk and now back to another bottle of formula (and have been on mama’s milk since). Plus there was stress from not getting your night time routine and missing your mama cuddles so you hadn’t gone much. But you went, boy did you go…
We had been having our problems connecting— dad and son. Before mama’s first ER visit— the one where they told her she had blood clots in her lungs and that mean doctor said you couldn’t have mama’s milk any more. Before that visit, you didn’t really want me to comfort or calm you. You only liked mama for that. You would play and started to coo for me but when you cried I was not your primary provider. Luckily when you noticed mama in pain you let me hold you more. You listened when I said I needed your help and so did mama. That you were our cute comforter for right now and we would make up times of comforting you when we could.
Maybe that is why you decided to provide comic relief by pooping on me, and the ER floor, and up your back, and all over my pants and shirt and hoodie. Which I didn’t have a change for like you did. So I had to paper towel myself off. Then I had to rinse your back and some of your front off in the sink because it would have taken 10 times more wipes then we had to clean off all of that processed formula and milk. And all those ER docs realized you didn’t like that. But they thought you are so cute that they didn’t mind the screaming and luckily the old lady with the broken hip across the hall didn’t have her hearing aid batteries. Plus they allowed mama to hold you while I cleansed the floor and me again. And you laughed with her for the first time in what felt like weeks but was probably only hours.
Now please don’t do it again. And yes we will share this story with your future first girlfriend in 26 years.
For those reading, the beautiful Hannah aka mama is doing okay. It has been a very emotional week filled with over 10 doctors visits where we have heard almost every theory possible and many different treatment options. We have also learned the difference between bad bedside manner and trusting a doctor that knows you. Thanks for the continued prayers.