It is less than one week until my son is born. We have an exact date because he is already a trouble maker and is not only currently breach but literally put his foot down into Hannah’s pelvic bone when the doctor tried to flip him a couple weeks ago. We have worked through this as a couple and are at peace with having a surgery instead of natural birth so onto other planning.
So this has lead me to really start finalizing what I want my kid to learn and what I don’t.
The beautiful Hannah and I have been talking about what we want to teach Junior. Do our standards and practices need to be passed on? Or should he learn it himself? Basically will I disown him if he enjoys shopping at Walmart?
When it comes down to it we believe in our decisions enough to pass them on. We want to feed him local and organic food and have him eat less frozen chicken nuggets than sautéed kale and brussel sprouts. We want him to wear second hand clothing that doesn’t market anything…no Disney, no Nickelodeon, no corporate buy ins. We want him to love travel more than possessions and books more than reality television. We want to teach about people having needs greater than yours. We want to teach him about Advent Conspiracy instead of Christmas meaning getting things. And about a Jesus that loves and forgives not judges and hates. Before you ask… Yes, we are hoping to make him a little weird so he doesn’t date until he’s 26 but in Portland it’ll probably have the opposite effect as we are the norm not the freak here.
I hope he will be gentle and peaceful like we are. Thinking about his impact on the world and the people around him from an early age. Realizing how he treats people relates to how he will be treated. And that his decisions can help or hinder other people in nearby or far away regions. That a pair of socks is a better gift to the stranger with a cardboard sign than the coworker that has 60 pairs already. That giving is better than receiving 9 times out of 10 but that one time you receive, do it humbly.
And that not everything has to be 10,000 feet view. I’ve also realized we need to teach him what good music, books and comedy are and hope he doesn’t rebel so much as to watch vintage Duck Dynasty when he is a teenager.
I have ready created clean and dirty playlists for my podcasts. He can hear the sounds of Hamish and Andy at any age, but I don’t think he needs to listen to half of the comedy podcasts available out there!
Since I got a smart phone a month or so ago I have listened to two artists and I am more than fine with my kid being raised in the tunes of Trombone Shorty and Chuck Brown. Combined with Hannah’s slight obsession with the Civil Wars and ABBA we should have a good kid. Oh and of course some Willie, Dolly, Kenny and Johnny will be combined with the Sunday Southern Gospel to fill the house on weekends.
My kid will know how to laugh. No Dane Cook, but lots of “Fluffy” Gabriel Iglesias, Jim Gaffigan, some Mitch Hedburg and early Bill Cosby.
He will watch documentaries and learn about the world.
He will stare at maps and globes and realize the world has a lot to teach him…almost as much as he has to teach others…
He will learn the old bum on the street is as smart as or smarter than the dude in the suit or khakis scoffing as they walk into the overpriced steak house.
He will know this world is mean sometimes, life sucks occasionally, he can’t always win and his mom won’t throw a board game no matter how cute he is. But he will see the rainbows and unicorns of life.
Of course, he will probably remind me of these things more than I him but here is to hoping me and the beautiful Hannah survive parenthood.
Here’s a picture since you read all the words!