“Don’t worry man, we all grow up sometime.”
For me apparently that time is… about now. In the last few months, I have realized how boring, unadventurous and yet completely fulfilling life is. Since late August a solid pattern has been made. A pattern of work, eat, play, sleep, work, eat, chores, sleep, work, eat, laugh, sleep, work, eat, write, sleep, work…. I think you get it now. I have had a harder time connecting with friends I want to see than ever before. I have had to say “NO” to so many invites, I wonder if I should even be a part of half the groups I identified with 2 years ago. But most telling I am an adult is that good friends have left Portland to be closer to family again. They had fun be young and single, or young and married, or a young family, but it came time for their roots to dig in and they start asking the harder questions.
I never thought I would wake up to this life so fast. Leaving the spontaneous, free spirited dreams behind for more responsible and logical desires. Most of my friends are married or have crying children in the background of hang out times. And most of the ones who aren’t married seem to be mighty close. And if they aren’t close, they desire strongly to be with someone.
One day it went from spontaneous nights out to meetings and dinners planned weeks ahead. Now, when I hang out with 2 old roommates we would need 6 meals and a baby seat. When we talk about what’s next kids, houses and promotions are not just dreams but actual, potential or strongly desired realities. That we would discuss neighborhoods, less as a place to rent or hang out, but more by what the schools, parks are near by and how close to our jobs it is located.
Now, quite a few people probably think this is a good thing. It did take me to the Jesus year to get married. To realize I need a good job. To think seriously about living in one place for more than “six more months”. But it doesn’t make it easier to wake up every day and head into work. It barely makes it easier to shut down my brain on a Sunday night to get up after the weekend. So while this growing into an adult seems to have happened without me knowing in the last couple years, it may still be a while before I am completely ready to admit it.