There is one place in Portland that I consistently walk down the front steps and think to myself…
“I love this place”
Generally it seems to point to the people and conversations I have had in the preceding hours. It points to the transparency presented. Occasionally it has to do with the challenges I have been issued. Less often it has to do with the amazing food and beverage and tobacco that were consumed while in the area.
But it always has to do with something that I haven’t really felt in years. I won’t go into all the details because that is for a professional but there a lot of times that people show and say they care for me but I don’t realize it. For some reason with these kids it’s different.
They love me, with all my brokenness and bitterness and hurt and pain and horrible jokes. It has being in recent weeks this has become incredibly clear as I have on more than one occasion been pulled out of my selfish dreams by those around the table. Whether it is bad decisions or bad plans for life, I have found myself assessing what and with whom I am really living life. And it has made me a better man…more adult if you will.
The really strange thing is that as the time has passed and I have walked down those steps more regularly…I am finding I have a heart for this city— which hasn’t really happened in five years. I didn’t care about any city recently. Didn’t want to live some place badly and kind of get sentimental when I have traveled away or had late night thoughts of “what’s next?” since about 2006. And then a beautiful amazing Vietnamese gal was involved in my decisions. Come to think of it…never mind.
So thank you to my family here in Portland, and those who willingly enter into life with me at the table and various other tables around town.